What if your trauma response is amnesia? Part 2

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  1. Recognize and acknowledge it for what it is. It’s a trauma response and has nothing to do with you or what you shared. (This takes maturity and emotional intelligence)
  2. Pausing the conversation with compassion, not judgment actually makes a deposit into the joint account. The other person may not recognize they spiraled. “Why don’t we resume this conversation another time, I can tell something upset you” can alert them to where the breakdown happened.
  3. Remember that their response is their responsibility, not yours. If you feel you can’t share good news with them because you're trying to protect them, give yourself permission to release that burden.
  4. Give them grace, space, and time. They probably aren’t doing that for themselves. They may even be beating themselves up for “ruining” your moment.
  5. When emotions are less heightened, and if the relationship is worth the effort, having a conversation about the incident serves both parties. It can help mitigate the chances of it happening again. But if it does, you already have a game plan. You may even be able to find humor.

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