What if your trauma response is amnesia? Part 1

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  • people in your life sugar-coat tough news
  • you only have superficial conversations about the weather, traffic, etc
  • people seem to walk on eggshells trying to make sure they don’t share something that may upset you
  • when someone shares good news with you, the conversation gets cut short because of the way you respond
  • when someone shares good news but change the subject after you respond or you change the subject
  • when someone shares good news and sounds deflated after your response
  • you secretly feel deflated after hearing good news
  1. Recognize that your response did not match the situation
  2. Apologize for the way you handled the conversation. (Note, you’re not apologizing for being you, for being triggered, for having been traumatized. You’re apologizing for inadvertently taking it out on the other party)
  3. Excuse yourself from the conversation if your emotions are still heightened. Once alone, give yourself some grace and compassion. You may consider journaling, meditating, going for a walk, doing yoga, and breathing. What you choose to do in response really makes a difference in future interactions. (I’ll share more on that in another article).
  4. Optional: if you feel ready (not obligated), see if the other party would like to re-engage in that conversation or even share what happened. (You have to know who you’re talking to, not everyone is equipped to work through your stuff with you).
  1. acknowledge it internally and take a loving breath
  2. You continue the conversation, and respond how you’d like to be responded to if it were you who was sharing the news. This is not the same as suppressing your emotion because you’re consciously and intentionally shelving the feeling temporarily.
  3. Once the conversation is done, you can choose to process what happened or wait until later when you have time to.

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